The Real Slim Shady?
by TheBadHatter
Summary: The DWMA students are sent on a mission to deal with a high-profile Hip Hop artist who has three separate, conflicting, souls in his one body (Marshall Mathers, Eminem, & Slim Shady). The souls have been competing amongst each other, forcing the rapper to go into hiding. How will they be able to extract the extra souls without harming the host?
1. The Way I Am

**The Way I Am**

_As the DWMA students took notes in their class as Dr. Stein was teaching them about Sex Ed, Azusa entered the classroom. Stein eyed the DeathSythe and asked,_

"Why exactly are you interrupting my class? It's not as if I come where you work and bother you," he sarcastically added.

"Yes and I'm very thankful for that, but at the risk of interrupting your _**important **_lectures-" Azusa was then interrupted.

"Oh, I'm sorry would YOU like to teach these children about Sexual Education? I'm sure we're all curious as to what YOU know about the subject," Stein mocked.

A now-nervous Azusa gasped, "Uh, n-no that's okay. Shinigami just wanted me to retrieve a couple of your students for an important mission."

_Realizing that Shinigami was involved, Dr. Stein decided to end his fun little game short. Azusa then called for Maka, Soul, Death the Kid, The Thompson Sisters, Blackstar, and Tsubaki to follow her to the Death Room for the debriefing._

"Yo! What's up everybody," Shinigami exclaimed as everyone was entering.

"Hello Shingami-sama," everyone responded in unison.

"Thank you Azusa, you may return to your work now."

"Y-Yes sir," Azusa stuttered still feeling nervous from Stein.

Cutting straight to the chase Death the Kid asked, "Father, what kind of mission are you sending us on if you went as far as to pull us from our classes?"

"Observing as always, I'm SO proud of you kiddo," Shinigami complimented to which was responded with a lowly-audible grumbling sound from Kid.

Deciding to finally get serious Shinigami asked, "Pop quiz! How many souls can inhabit a body?"

Maka immediately answered, "Only one. One soul for one body."

_ Everyone nodded their head in agreement to the bookworm's answer, with only Blackstar still trying to understand the question that was asked._

A solemn Shinigami responded, "Well that's how it's _**supposed **_to be but there's a poor creature out there with not only two souls but three whom inhabit his body."

_Granted everyone __**was **__in shock by the Shinigami's statement; though it was Kid who was truly mortified by the thought of multiple souls inhabiting a single body._

"So father," Kid began as his voice trembled with anger, "How is it that we didn't know about this sooner?"

"Well you see at first glance it seemed like it was one of two things: It was just part of his act so he could entertain fans, or the man suffered from multiple personalities. While the prior would have been sad indeed, I would have hoped on that than multiple souls."

After a little think Liz spoke up, "Wait, to entertain his fans? Who are talking about exactly?"

"Well you see, the person in question is Marshall Mathers."

"EMINEM," Soul exclaimed, "Eminem's the one who has three souls!"

"Tsk, I'd be more than glad to take his soul," Liz sneered, "He's just a-"

_Liz stopped herself midsentence after seeing the murderous glare Soul was giving her._

"S-So you're a fan of him Soul," Tsubaki questioned.

"Yeah, I have his entire catalog. Even those "pain-in-the-ass to find" mix tapes with the exclusive tracks!"

_Soul then looked around and saw that everyone was looking at him funny._

"Shut up! I listen to other things besides classical you know!"

"HA HA HA! DON'T WORRY SOUL, MY BELOVED COMRADE, EVEN I, YOUR ALMIGHTY GOD, ENJOYS EMINEM," Blackstar screeched.

"Um, thanks for the support man," Soul said as he shifted uncomfortably.

"ALL I ASK IS FOR _THE CONSPIRACY: VOLUME ONE_!"

"No problem dude, I'll lend it to you after the mission's over" Soul answered as he high-fived Blackstar.

"As much as I love these two's homosexual tendencies, I think we should get back on track," Maka mockingly stated.

_Soul then gave Maka a "not-so-subtle" hand gesture which earned him a one-way ticket to a MAKA CHOP. _

"Okay," Kid continued, "How did he get three different souls inside of him? Was he born with them?"

"Well you see Kid, during that time period, while Marshall Mathers was still getting started; Hip-Hop artists were being murdered left and right. Some died the way they were supposed to, and but most of them weren't on my list and were left wandering the world with nowhere to go. Now these poor souls were still semi-conscious of what was going on around them and were left with bitter feelings of being denied the lives they rightfully deserved."

_Everyone in the room, even Black and Patty, were listening to Shinigami intently and didn't dare interrupt._

"While the DWMA had a difficult time rounding up the souls, we still managed to do it. At least I thought we did, because as you know we missed a couple. Today's climate in the genre is a lot more calm and relaxed than it used to be though, so I don't think we have to worry about this sort of thing happening again anytime soon."

_There was now an uncomfortable dead silence in the room; until Patty asked,_

"So whose souls are in him?"

_Everyone looked at Patty questioningly._

"You were saying two souls went into Marshy, whose souls are they?"

"Ahh, while I am aware of one, the other continues to elude me," the Shinigami answered.

"Okay, so who's the soul that we ARE aware of," Kid added.

"It was none other than Christopher Wallace, or Biggie Smalls as you kids called him."

_Even after hearing bomb-shell after bomb-shell, it's quite a surprise that the student were still able to be surprised._

"Oh," the Shinigami remembered, "Your objective isn't to take the rapper's soul, but to extract the two other souls that inhabit him."

"Yes sir," everyone yelled in unison.

"I wonder if I'd be able to get the guy's autograph," Blackstar wondered aloud.

**Funny thing is, I only planned this to be a one-shot but now it's starting to feel like a legitimate story. I'm sure I'll be able to follow this up. If you enjoyed this then please read some of my other work like "Soul and Chrona: Too Much Adventure!" or "Soul Eater Vs. The World." Please favorite and/or review my work, I'm seriously trying to get better as a writer. Thank you for taking your time to read! Hope you enjoyed! ~Traffic9991**


	2. Hailie's Song

**Hailie's Song**

_The team of meisters and weapons have currently been wandering the streets of Detroit for the last couple of hours or so, completely lost and confused by the barrage of buildings which constantly shifted from nice homes and apartments to crack houses and abandoned factories every couple of blocks._

"Arrgghh," Maka screeched, "How did we end up listening to Blackstar for directions!"

"Because you don't have any idea on which way to go," Blackstar blankly answered.

Soul chimed in, "You know? It's A LOT harder to stalk a celebrity that I thought it'd be. I'm actually kind of impressed for the people who do this for a living."

"How are we even sure that he's not doing concerts," Kid then wondered, "I looked into him last night, and he's famous enough where he could basically live the rest of his life being on tour."

Soul shrugged, "Nah man, his last album was freakin _Encore_, and he's been keeping a pretty low profile since then."

Liz awes, "He hasn't put out music in 4 years!"

Soul smirked, "Yeah, even though Hip-Hop fans tend to have the memory-span of Maka's goldfish, this guy's probably the exception to that rule."

"MAKA CHOP!"

"Owww…"

"I don't know what you've been doing to Swimy, but stop it," Maka demanded.

_As they finish talking, the DWMA students decide to continue their search. A couple of hours pass and they were still unsuccessful, so they decided to make a quick stop at the nearest corner store; after losing at "Rock, Paper, Scissors" Kid is the one has to go in and buy everyone a bottle of water and a varying assortments of candy._

_Trying his best not to take much interest in the fact that NOTHING in the store was symmetrical Kid mutters to himself, _

"I'm just going to buy everyone a loaf of sugar bread. I-I don't even care at this point."

A small voice calls, "I-I'm sorry b-but were you talking to me?"

_When Kid turned his head all he saw were cans of Beefaroni and expired bags of potato chips. Then he felt a slight tug from his sleeve and looked down, realizing that he was standing next to a little blond girl._

"Oh, no I'm sorry! I was just thinking to myself," said Kid as he attempted to salvage the situation.

"Oh okay," the girl smiled and then extended her hands, "My name's Hailie. What's yours?"

Dumbfound the young Shinigami stumbles, "Um, Kid. My name's Death the Kid."

The child puts her hands at her waist and pouts, "NO! Not the name your nickname, I wanna know your REAL name!"

_ It was at this moment that Kid realized that he __**did**__,____in fact, have the kind of name that sounded like an alias. As he quietly cursed his father for such a name, Kid still had the awkward task of explaining that this was in fact his real name. Then a voice called for him,_

"Kid, why are you taking so long? Did you go all cuckoo again because things weren't symmetrical?"

_Despite what she thought of him, Kid was never happier to see Patty since she would be able to take the attention off him._

"Is she your friend," Hailie asked quizzically.

"Yeah, her name's Patty," Kid explained as he motioned to Patty, "And this is Hailie."

As Patty ran up to squeeze the little girl she exclaimed, "We've been waiting for you Kid, Blackstar even bet Liz their M&M's that you flipped out in the store again!"

_ With this Kid noticed that Hailie awkwardly lowered her glaze to the floor._

Kid shifts the conversation, "So, where do you live Hailie? You seem pretty young to be here by yourself."

"Hey! I'm almost 10 years old; I'm NOT a baby anymore!"

"Alright, alright," Kid laughed as he held his hands up in surrender, "So are you close to home?"

"It's actually right there," as Hailie pointed through the store window to a lone, quite little suburban home that rested upon a hill.

_After everything was purchased, Hailie was introduced to all of the others. After Blackstar reluctantly forked over his bag of M&M's, they told Hailie that they'd walk her home despite all of her objections._

_ When they finally arrived at Hailie's house, (Which was MUCH farther than any of them realized) she invited them in for a while._

"Are you really sure your parents won't mind seeing us here," Liz asked.

Hailie nodded her headed and answered, "Don't worry; my mom lives in a different house than daddy now, and he likes to sleeps a lot more than he used to now so he's probably still in bed."

_As Hailie spoke about her family situation so nonchalantly, Kid couldn't help but be reminded of __why__ he has his OCD tendencies. "No," he thought, "I'm not here to deal with that; there's a man out there who has three souls."_

"Besides," Hailie continued, "I want to thank you."

"What do you mean," Soul wondered.

"Well, you guys spent the day with me. I guess if I didn't meet you all, I wouldn't have talked to anybody today."

_A dark cloud began to descend over the atmosphere of her kitchen._

_ Then footsteps came from the stairs as a man called,_

"Hailie are you down there?"

"Yes," she responded.

"Who else is with you, I can hear voices," The man questioned.

"J-Just some new friends I meet dad," she stammered.

The man laughed, "I know I say not to bring friends without permission, but I guess breaking the rules ever now and again is okay."

Hailie gave a sigh of relief.

"I'm coming down okay."

_Once the man entered the kitchen, everyone's jaw dropped. Standing before them was none other than Eminem, the man who they had to extract the souls from._

_ The young father looked at them for a couple of minutes before finally speaking,_

"Boy… What do they feed 4th graders these days," the father slurred as he tried to understand why they were with his baby girl.

"Umm…" everyone hummed in unison.

**This is getting pretty good. In case you were wondering, I'm setting this story the year before Eminem released **_**Relapse**_** because I think it would be a better build for a story. Also, in case you didn't notice, I'm going to name all of my chapters after various Eminem songs. If you enjoyed this story please check out my other works like "Soul Eater Vs. The World" or "Soul and Chrona: Too Much Adventure!" Please favorite and/or review, so that I may know where to make improvements and to stroke my ego! Thank you for reading! See you in Chapter 3! ~Traffic9991**


	3. Drug Ballad

**Drug Ballad**

_After sending little Hailie up to her room, despite all of her protests, Marshall turned around to look at the 7, relatively young looking teens. The father speculated what their ulterior motives were; no one just befriends a child at a store and then walks her home to make sure they made it there okay. People just aren't that kind in life. _

_**Did they just want to meet me?**_

_**Were these kids planning on robbing the place?**_

_**Did they plan on kidnapping Hailie?**_

_ The rapper couldn't help but shudder at the last thought, but it was too late to stop now. As a celebrity it's almost a necessity to have paranoia; especially when you're dealing with psychopathic fanatics, stalking groupies, ambulance chasing lawyers, narcissistic journalists, and your egotistical peers. There are very few people who you can really rely upon._

"I'm just gonna ask; why are you all here," Marshall asked with a slight demanding tone.

"Well it happened like Hailie said," Tsubaki nervously elaborated, "We met her at the corner store by herself, and after we walked her home she invited us in."

"Uh-huh, sure…"

Kid then added, "Sir, we're not lying."

"Look, I hope you guys can understand that a group of teens just hanging out with my ten year-old daughter in my house, in my kitchen looks suspicious at best."

"Sir, we just didn't want her to walk home by herself," Maka salvaged.

The rapper began rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger before concluding, "I think you all should leave now…"

_With no one wanting to protest, they all march out of the door without even saying "goodbye" to Hailie. They finally found the rapper, but he was as hostile as ever._

_ Deciding to call it a day, they sprung for a hotel room. Before any of them rested Maka spoke up,_

"Look guys, we're going to need a game plan or something if we want to get those souls out of him."

Soul glanced over to Maka and questioned, "Any suggestions?"

_Maka just glued her eyes to the floor thinking, `If this were a Kissin Egg on Shinigami-sama's list there wouldn't be a problem, we could just take the soul. But since we're trying to extract them without hurting the guy we can't just be careless.'_

_ Before Maka could say anything, Patty interrupted her,_

"Hey Kid, wutcha doin?"

"I'm calling father, to ask about alternate solutions to our situation," Kid answered as he wrote **42 – 42 – 564** on the mirror in the bathroom.

_As soon as the last digit was written the mirror began to ripple like water in the sea, and then it quickly clears up; no longer showing the reflection of the onlooker but it portrayed the Death Room as soon as the call was answered._

"Hello kiddies, how's everybody doing," the Shinigami ecstatically answered.

"Not too good Shinigami-sama," Soul answered.

"Oh and why's that?"

"It seems Eminem is completely hostile towards people he's unfamiliar with," Kid interjected.

Maka added, "Is it absolutely necessary for us to get the souls out of him without us being forceful?"

Shinigami rubbed his chin and answered, "Yes it is actually, because if it were done without his complete cooperation then we run the risk of taking his soul as well and Marshall Mathers isn't on my list."

"SO HOW THE HECK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THEM THEN IF HE'S AS PARNOID AS CHRONA WHEN IT COMES TO PEOPLE," Blackstar screeched.

"You guys said it yourselves," Shinigami stated, "He won't trust people he's unfamiliar with. So stay for a while and get into his circle of friends to earn his complete trust."

Liz pointed out, "This might take us a while, you know that right?"

"Yes but since there's nothing too crazy going on, I think that's where you all need to be."

"Thank you father, you were a lot of help," Kid ended.

"Oh, no problem! Just call if anything else comes up! Bye!"

_And just like that Shinigami-sama was no longer in the mirror, and with the kind of day they had everyone decided to come up with a plan tomorrow so they could sleep._

_ While the DWMA students were sleeping, Marshall Mathers sat alone at his kitchen table, unscrewing a candle-holster revealing a small bag of pills. Taking three and washing them down with 80 proof vodka as he reminisced of better times when he didn't feel like a has-been._

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the wait for the third chapter, I just needed a little motivation. It's been crazy for me recently because I have my hand in a lot of different things, in the hopes that something will click with the audience. Enough about that, let's focus on the story. Damn! I can't believe Eminem's taking drugs! And the mission might drag on a little longer than they expected. Wonder what will happen? I'm not sure either, send in suggestions dammit! Hahaha! Please Favorite and/or Review, so I know where I need to improve and for motivation. Thank you for reading! If you liked this then please check out my other stuff! ~Traffic9991**


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